Bleach Revolution the new Expeirence

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 Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai

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Ayumu Hebaki

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PostSubject: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Thu Mar 31, 2011 8:16 am

Sealed Descrition

Release Phase: "Damn the loved, Jun Ai"
Manifestation:

Class-Type: Defensive
Family-Type: Poison
Sub-Type" {If any.}

Shikai Description:
Shikai Special Ability: When Hebaki's shikai is activated it automatically makes a stab out at his opponents heart. The more love felt inside, the more pain it will inflict.

Technique(s):
Name: Hateful Mist
Rank: A-4
Range: 10 meters
Type: Shikai/Kido
Sub-type: Supplimentary
Elemental Affinity: Sword type
Description: Ayumu cuts himself, releasing a toxin that lingers up to ten meters away cause everyone in the area to doubt who is friend or foe.
Drawbacks: Ayumu has to be in a rage, and it also hurts him to use it.

Name: Stranglehold
Rank: A-1
Range: 1 meter
Type: Shikai
Sub-type: Offensive
Elemental Affinity: Sword type
Description: Hebaki's two sword-whips rush forward for his victims throat surrounding it, cutting the skin and cutting off the air supply.
Drawbacks: 2 post cooldown.

--------------------------------------------------
This is for Captains and if only you've achieved Bankai.

Bankai: The Black Plague
Bankai Special Ability: Anyone who touches Hebaki while his Bankai is activated will become ill, and if left unattended they will die.
1st post, Opponent feels no changes however the virus is already inside the body.
2nd post, Infected begin to feel like they have a minor cold
4th post, Infected begins to cough and wheeze.
6th post, The virus slowly begins to over power the host, boils appear on the skin and it becomes painful to move.
10th post, The boils have now covered the body and the victim is at half strength
12th post, Victim falls to quarter strength
14th post, Victim Dies
This can be stopped by receiving medical aid via Kido, Special Skills, etc
If the victim stops battling the post count is his own, however if he continues to battle the post count is all the combatants(fighting wears down your body when your sick).

Techniques:
Name: Love's Lost
Rank: A-3
Range: N/A
Type: Bankai
Sub-type: Supplimentary
Elemental Affinity: Sword type
Description: Ayumu brings back replicas of the opponents dead loved ones, the copies have about one fifth of Hebaki's strength and he can only make four of them.
Drawbacks: He can only use this once per day.


Name: Smoke Screen
Rank: A-3
Range: 40 meters
Type: Bankai
Sub-type: Offensive)
Elemental Affinity: Sword type
Description: Ayumu coughs up black smoke that he morphs into, and uses to move to any shaded area up to forty meters away.
Drawbacks: It has a two post cooldown.

Name: Pax Romana
Rank: A-2
Range: 10 meters
Type: Bankai
Sub-type: Defensive
Elemental Affinity: Sword type
Description: Hebaki begins to smoke from a pipe, the smoke begins to surround the Vizard ensnaring anyone up to ten meters away. As long as he is smoking this is in effect.
Drawbacks: None

Name: Poison Shot
Rank: A-2
Range: 100 meters
Type: Bankai
Sub-type: Offensive
Elemental Affinity: Sword type
Description: Hebaki cuts off part of his flesh and absorbs it into his Zanpakuto giving him the ability to fire a line of Reitsu at his opponent giving them an accelerated version of his virus.
Drawbacks: Three post cooldown.

Kidou Techniques:
Bakudo= 21,26,39,58,61-63,77,79,81
Hado= 31,33,54,63,73,88,90,91,96


Last edited by Ayumu Hebaki on Thu Apr 07, 2011 1:47 am; edited 9 times in total
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Cold Rai
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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Thu Mar 31, 2011 11:23 am

We have changed the rules. One may only get 20 Kidou techniques at the start and the Bankai is denied! The Bankai is too OP. If you are going to register something like that you need a serious Drawback.

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Ayumu Hebaki

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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Thu Mar 31, 2011 3:17 pm

Better now?
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Raiden Kurokichi
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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:51 pm

A note: A Shikai has 3 Techniques, and Bankai has 5. This is only for Elites

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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:52 am

There adapted the bankai, and adjusted the techniques with the format.
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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:38 am

Hope crush: make it 2 or one tier lower.
Lust's hindrance is way to OP'd. Just speaking the words and then anyone who breaths is hit is just a no. The range would have to be like 1 meter and it would have to be through something else that isn't breathing.
Lower the range on Cupid's choke hold
The other two are denied
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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Fri Apr 01, 2011 10:13 pm

1. The posion technique is DENIED

2. The Acid is fine, just as long as you dont GM with it

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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:46 pm

Adjusted again, and remodeled the attacks. Changed what Lust's hindrance does/how it happens, and shortened the distance.

Um which other two though? I'm slightly confused lol
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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:33 am

I'm not so sure so Half Approved (you will need Cold or Raiden to fully approve it)
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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:48 am

Since you are going for the Leader/God position you might want to wait and register for that before this is approved and then redo this and make it more powerful.

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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Sat Apr 02, 2011 9:19 am

*Sighs realizing he probably could've kept the original version. Sinks head into hands*

lol jk np
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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:50 pm

Alright, check it out lemme know what you think.

I'll register my second bankai or mask at a later date.
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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:55 am

Bankai Special Ability: Anyone who touches Hebaki while his Bankai is activated will become ill, and if left unattended they will die. <<< Not enough description. Ill with what, what are the simphtoms, what happens to the organism, why do they become ill, how it happens. State all that and we shall talk.

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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:09 pm

There added a timeline for it also
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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:33 pm

do they become ill just by touching or if they are cut

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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:34 pm

Techniques:
Name: Love's Lost
Rank: ?
Range: N/A
Type: Bankai
Sub-type: Supplimentary
Elemental Affinity: Sword type
Description: Ayumu brings back replicas of the opponents dead loved ones, the copies have about one fifth of Hebaki's strength and he can only make four of them.
Drawbacks: He can only use this once per day. <<<<thats ok but they may only be able to look like them not act like them

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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:37 pm

final reaping is denied. you Family-Type: Poison so stick with poison. NO BLASTS

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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:39 pm

Name: Acid Sword
Rank: ?
Range: N/A
Type: Bankai
Sub-type: Supplementary
Elemental Affinity: Sword type
Description: When Ayumu's Bankai is activated his sword automatically releases acid when it comes into contact with anything.
Drawbacks: It ads one to the post cooldown for Ayumu's Bankai.



1.What PH is the acid. 2. This doesn't go well with its special ability. It releses acid and a deadly virus ? NO!! Acid or the virus. Your choice. one of them is denied since they are pretty much the same

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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:58 pm

Alrighty np, but ya it's touching not slashing
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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:02 pm

OK So final reaping is denied. the acid is denied. everything else is fine. Though this is not a zanpakuto for a leader position. Listen you can still make a powerful zanpakuto without overpowering it. I will not yet approve it unless you feel like you have done the best you can.

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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:18 pm

Well had you guys noticed what I was applying for earlier we wouldn't have had to jump through this, I'll get back to you if I can think of anything else.
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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:27 pm

well if I approve this there is no way back.

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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:37 pm

Well ok, give me some examples of whats not too OPed, or UPed. I cant tell from looking over the other applications.
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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:53 pm

not much was OP in your app it was just mostly unneccesary and agains your app it self. for example your final reaping technique- keep with the family structure you have chosen. So if you are poison dont create tecniques such as wind ,fire or anything at that except if its the sub.

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PostSubject: Re: Ayumu's Zanpakuto/Jun Ai   Tue Apr 05, 2011 3:03 pm

Done, I still have a bankai or mask to register so s'all good.
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